Ode to the Obscure: Episode One

Ever wonder what the story is behind that spider you killed after getting your first weapon? That random villager hiding behind some barrels?

Picture yourself as the greatest hero of all time. Perhaps you slew a score of dragons with only your pinky finger. Perhaps it was a thousand bears. Regardless, you are a hero: the greatest hero, mind you. A sea of peons surrounds you. Peasants wave sickles and hoes and cheer for you, “Article Reader the Great”. Their voices wharf around you and suddenly you find your eyes are scanning through the crowd. Generic Peon Model One, Two, and Three are all in great abundance. Yet, who is that suave man in the twentieth row and eighth column? Why is he wearing that top hat and monocle. Who is he? Why does he stand out? And here, my friends, is why Ode to the Obscure was born.

Disclosure: Many games featured within this series will be Massively Multiplayer Online (MMO) games or Role-Playing Games (RPGS) due to their large cast of minor characters. If no information is specifically stated within game (or external sources, canon or otherwise), the character will be introduced with a Speculation tag after the character’s name (or given name). Due to the nature of this series, any character that has a role in the main story of a game (in the case of linear storylines) or is the main quest giver of a zone (in MMOs) will be excluded from this series. For example, in World of Warcraft a character like Hemet Nesingwary would not be included due to being a major quest giver in numerous zones, but a character like Millhouse Manastorm would be considered due to his minimal amount of quest involvement. If a character appears in multiple instances of a game (such as expansions, downloadable content (DLC), or multiple games in a series), all versions of said character will be included so long as their involvement meets prior criteria.

Kee (Guild Wars 2) Speculation

Kee

Who is this shifty looking Asura from the outpost of Desider Atum? Why do his ears point downward instead of up? Kee is a necromancer trainer with disinterest in anyone who is not a necromancer. If you are a necromancer, he will gladly show you his wares. What is Kee doing in the mosquito infested swamp region (or the swampier region due to everything being a swamp) of Metrica Province? Time to speculate away.

Kee is likely a member of the College of Synergetics. His interest in necromancy could lead him to study the Great Alchemy and flow of the universe, instead of the more physical colleges of the Asura. Kee wandered out of Rata Sum, the Asuran capital, after studying under Professor Blipp. While making his way through the swamps (seriously people, there are a lot of swamps in the Maguuma Jungle), Kee was assaulted by the diverse wildlife of the region outside of Rata Sum. While Kee appears to be able to hold his own, apparent by his teaching abilities, Kee is also inexperienced to the world outside his home. He was fighting off twenty sparkflies when he stumbled upon Desider Atum. He was quickly assisted by the nearby BAT 9929 golems and accepted into the make-shift stronghold. Seeing the group of Asura within Desider Atum, Kee decided to rest for a while before setting out. Upon awaking the next day, Kee was greeted by a fledgling adventurer. He was a necromancer who could barely hold a dagger and was seeking aid. Kee showed him the basics and the adventurer handed him a sack of coins. Kee was shocked at first but realized that his true calling was here.

He was to become a necromancer trainer.

Wastewalker Worker (World of Warcraft) In-Game Experience

Wastewalker

Anyone who has run the Slave Pens, a 5-man Dungeon from the Burning Crusades expansion, will remember these guys. They are being enslaved by the Naga within the Coilfang Reservoir and will instantly leave their work spot to chase down anyone attacking their masters. Once the taskmaster is killed, however, the slaves will become peaceful and run off. Simple enough, right? What is of interest with these guys, you might think? It is the manner in which they flee that makes them so infamous. Before combat, they are seen swinging their pickaxe at the walls of the reservoir. Upon freeing them, the Broken slaves will continue picking away at the air in front of them. Imagine, if you will, Zoidberg’s crab shuffle from the show Futurama. Instead of crab shuffling away, they spastically pickaxe the air before phasing out of the dungeon. To this day, the Wastewalker Worker could still be roaming Zangarmarsh, picking the air to its heart’s content.

As a side note, what is up with the swamp theme of this pilot? Seriously need to break this flow.

Monty Mole (Mario franchise) Extended Lore

Whack-a-Monty

I tried so hard to continue the swamp theme, however these lovable scamps just made it way too difficult. Monty Mole appears in numerous Mario games Within the franchise, Monty Mole appears as an enemy in the Mario games by throwing rocks at characters or leaping out at them. Monty Mole has been known to play baseball, albeit not so well at bat, and is an avid fan of karting, often accidently finding his way onto the tracks. Outside of rock throwing, baseball playing, and karting, Monty Mole took a gig working for Cheatsy Koopa under the name of Gopher, or Gophers when with his fellow Monty Moles. The Gophers help Cheatsy in stealing crops from Dome City in the Super Mario World cartoon, however they are thwarted by the brothers and their little dog Yoshi. Apparently, Monty Moles are pretty good at singing as well. Regardless of their many accolades, Monty Mole, or Monty Moles, will always be remembered as a tower of squished mole bodies as I crush my high score in the Whack-a-Monty minigame from New Super Mario Bros.

As a closing note, why is Monty Mole not a top notch pitcher? He throws rocks for a living. Come on, Nintendo!


Do you have any suggestions for future minor characters to spotlight? If so make sure to comment below or contact me at any of my dwellings (also found below.)


Lukas Anderson is an Associate Writer at MONG. He can be tracked down on Tumblr and Facebook.

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