Why I Have A Problem With Grand Theft Auto

Let me preface this by saying that I have not always disliked GTA, or even that I hate GTA as in the “game” itself. It is more along the lines of I can’t stand the “fanboyism” that goes into the series that is “Grand Theft Auto.” Maybe it is just that the older I have gotten, the more popular something is, the more I dislike it? I have grown to despise Call of Duty for some of the same reasons, but that is a different story.

I was 11 years old when Grand Theft Auto 3 was released, and I could not have been more excited. I had never played a GTA game before and all I saw were commercials of driving cars, gun fights, and prostitutes. I was not able to get the game until the following year when I convinced my grandpa that the game was ok for kids, which as you probably know, was a huge lie. I played the freaking crap out of that game. Stealing cars, drive by shootings, killing prostitutes, looked up cheats online for flying cars and the whole shebang! Then, Vice City came out and I did the same exact thing all over again. Not once in those two games did I actually try to play the game how it was supposed to and follow the storyline. I was so uninterested in the story; it was the last thing on my mind. Finally when San Andreas came out I made a bet with one of my friends on who could beat the story the fastest. By this point I was 14 and was much more interested in the story element of games than I had previously been. We both ended up finishing the game around the same time and never decided on a true winner. For what it’s worth, I believe I won.

I was super hyped for the release of Grand Theft Auto IV, but could not afford it while I was in high school so I didn’t get to play it for a few months. I borrowed it from a friend and put it into my Xbox 360 and was so excited to continue on a six year-long storied Grand Theft Auto career. I was about an hour and a half into the game when I quickly realized that this game was just not fun anymore. How did I used to enjoy picking up prostitutes and then running them over to get my cash back? How did I use to enjoy stealing cars and then wrecking them and then stealing another car? None of this appealed to me at all anymore. Maybe I was growing up? Maybe it was that GTA IV just sucked as a game? Maybe it was because I was too hyped? All I know is that was the moment when I started to hate everything that Grand Theft Auto was and stood for.

The resentment and hatred has grown over the past several years without me even realizing it. I started to realize it earlier this year when everyone started talking about Grand Theft Auto V and I just had no interest in it. I found myself thinking that these people were stupid for wanting to live the life of a street thug; though I never said that out loud. But as time went on and we got closer to the release date I realized I was being unfair about it. These people must not have played the game as much as I did growing up, right? Maybe they don’t enjoy being connected to a riveting story like I do? Maybe they just want to mindlessly steal cars and kill people? For whatever reason, over 13 million copies of GTA V were sold on day one. A number that blows my mind. A number that is STUPID ridiculous.

When things get as popular as Grand Theft Auto and EVERY celebrity, their mom, their dog, and every other non-gamer decides to Tweet, Instagram, Vine, and Facebook about it, I get severely annoyed and turned off. (See a few examples below).  I guess this is how someone feels when they love an Indie band and then decide to hate them when they sign with a major label? I honestly don’t know, and it’s weird, because I have never been like that. I just hate Grand Theft Auto and everything it stands for now. Maybe my hatred is completely undeserved and someday I will find myself playing GTA V to find out what all the hubbub is about, but there is no way it will be anytime soon. Feel free to leave all the hater comments below!  This is not reflective of the other members of MONG.

How do I beat this mission on GTA with the aliens..it’s kinda pissin me off

— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) September 17, 2013

Yea… Grand theft auto five is game of the year

— Ricky (@SIickRlck) September 20, 2013

GTA V acquired, finally. PS3 copy. Rubbing all over my face. Resisting urge to post photo of case, because we’ve all seen enough of that.

— Max Scoville (@MaxScoville) September 19, 2013

 At least here is one that I can agree with! Props to Brian Altano!

Rustle feathers, solve puzzle & get in all sorts o’ mischief in next Tuesday’s quirkiest indie gem “Grand Theft Auto V!” Support small devs!

— Brian Altano (@agentbizzle) September 13, 2013

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